Which is more immovable…me or the wall?

Have you ever had one of those days, that starts off somewhat positive and by lunch time, you feel like you’ve hit a brick wall? And then, not just hitting the wall but analyzing the wall, asking yourself questions about the wall, and wondering which is more immovable…you or the wall?

I’m not one much for difficult situations or confrontations, but since my wall is human, I’m thinking some level of confrontation may be around the next bend. I never know when or why its coming, but the wall is manifesting itself with definite solidity and form. In its world, it is becoming the eternal victim…the wall is becoming unbalanced and often leaning one way or another…it doesnt hold its shape or form…weakened corners and edges become rounded and in some cases, jagged…and the more jagged the edge, the harder it is becoming to avoid it.

The irony is that the wall is weak, crumbling a millimeter at a time…a piece of mortar here, slight chip of a brick there. The trees that once surrounded the glorious wall seem to have pulled back, pulled back their branches, and no longer chance those jagged edges. Animals that played and scampered along the wall now shiver should they walk into it accidentally or get too close.

I love the wall…have loved the wall for over 20 years. I don’t know how to fix it though, and my masonry skills are not what they used to be, neither is my patience for that level of maintenance. At one point, the wall helped heal me…and in healing me, the wall looked whole again and happy. Now it just looks sad, broken, crumbling, disappointed, discouraged, heartbroken…repair has been offered, yet it chooses this existence. I dont know what to do with that.

SO…which is more immovable? In this case I have to say the wall. I am flexible and adapt quickly, I leap with faith and I love landing in warm sand and sunshine. Right now I am strong…my spirit is strong…my will is strong…I will not break or crumble, not even for my beloved wall’s sake.

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