Grateful…

When a glass is empty, it is just that, lacking that which makes it full. In much the same way, society defines itself in the “half full or half empty” comparison, one of the oldest analogies in the world meant to serve our optimistic or pessimistic outlooks on life, living, decisions, goals, dreams. But when the glass is empty, so long as it is glass and not plastic, we forget that light can still filter in and cause a momentary shine, a flash of sunlight that catches the eye when we are not paying attention, so bright that we are distracted and given solace, especially on a dark day. The empty glass is no longer empty but radiant in that flash of sunlight, and from that flash comes a sense of being full.

 

My glass is full again, refueled by my own flash of sunlight, in this case the love, respect, and admiration of my niece.  I was beginning to feel my glass was broken, beyond repair, cracked and leaking out the most important parts of who and what I am. In an all male household, where emotions and soul and spirituality are not discussed, I am unable to ask anyone in my house to help fix it, and I’m not the kind of person who would ask for that assistance anyway. I am more likely to let the energy, love, laughter, happiness, goodness, positivity, etc drain almost all the way to the bottom and then refill it myself.  

 

This time, without asking for assistance, my niece filled it with just a few words…”You should become a writer,” a goal that has long been a dream of mine. We were just looking at books together, trolling around downtown Portsmouth NH, poking along taking pictures and horsing around. Rounding a corner we found the bookstore I had been searching for and voila’ there it was!! Yay for small victories!  Before stepping inside, I took her picture…young, beautiful, classic American young woman full of hopes and dreams and goals, untarnished, innocent. She takes my breath away…and then came those words. How can I say no?

 

At just that moment, a voice inside me became fiercely determined to not let her down, regardless of what it would cost me on all levels. With a decent writing background and fairly strong grammar skills I have a general base to pull from. I use my blog and have friends and family to bounce ideas off. I’m looking into getting back to school and majoring in writing, finish off an English degree, and maybe even search out some business courses.  My spirit and mind are on fire with all the ideas I have bouncing around in my head, and I haven’t felt this type of energy in a very long time. All I want is to spend my days locked away creating story lines, outlines, and researching topics. I want the solitude of a library with just the company of my computer and the smell of books.

My glass is full I say again from the words of my soon to be 16 year old niece. She has always been Auntie’s girl, but never until just recently did I realize just how strongly her voice resonates within my soul.  She has a strong, independent, and sometimes scary fierce fire within her; she is the kind of young woman I wish I had had the courage to be. Her faith in me and who I am terrifies me as she sees a golden image of who I am, sees my weaknesses and flaws, sees right through me, and encourages me to dare to dream and to write, to still “become” and move forward. In her eyes I see who I could be, where I can still go, which dreams I can still achieve. I’m left breathless, without words, and grateful for this lesson.

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